Back to work

I'm feeling quite excited for my returning to work next week. I don't need to learn anything since it is my previous work. My superior asked me last week if I was able to replace his current employee for 5 days. He even stated in the message that how much I'll be getting. It is going to be a 50% increment from my previous pay. I gladly accepted the offer since I knew I would be free that week anyway.

The place that I had been working for the last 5 years is a lan gaming shop. My job was actually quite simple, basically I look after the computers, the snacks and the cash register...until the person in charged of the hygiene quit. Keeping the store clean was added to my work. Extra work doesn't mean extra money. Consider I had additional task to do, I was paid poorly. I kept quiet because I knew I wasn't going to work for much longer. It wasn't for another two years before I realized I was wrong. I resigned last November. Few days before my final day at my workplace, my superior confessed to me that they actually underpay me and if I was to come back again they will reconsider my pay. That sounds like an improvement. But that wasn't my poison. 

My job was relaxing but it was simply too boring and repetitive. I worked like a robot. I went to work lifeless, I switched on my program and let it run until time. It wasn't what I wanted if I had a choice. But I have choices now, so the chance is really close to 1% for me to go back and work. The 1% being I only have to work for 5 days. 

Freedom Wars

How much does a pound of freedom cost? I don't know, it probably cost more than what average person can afford. Most people live all of their life and never get to know it. Some people born with it, but doesn't know how to show appreciation towards it. Some, just like me, trying to work hard for it. 

From my observations, I think freedom comes in many forms. Some are easy to come by, some are harder. For example, when you are allowed to pull up from something while everyone else are not, that is freedom ;when you are allowed to say the words you want, that is freedom or when you are allowed to follow the beliefs you want, that is freedom. As for myself, the freedom I want is to be able to control my life. I want to be the person to decide how early I rise, how much I eat, how far I walk, live with the people I like, et cetera. I don't want to let others make those decision for me. I want to be the chess player, not the knight on the board. 

This is probably gonna take a long time, probably never, but I'm trying. As long I know I'm at least trying, as a human being I know I'm a little better than the average people in the world. 

Keep the change

I have always wondered since I was a kid, why couldn't my family be more financially stable. I had starved before. I had been through many a time when the whole family were only allowed to have instant noodles and eggs for meals. We were so helpless, we couldn't afford anything else. Besides food, we had issues for our shelter, too. For a family of five, I remember we had to share a nine square meter room. We were always moving around, because we couldn't come out with the money to pay the rent. There was a time, when we came home and found out that our key couldn't fit the lock. The homeowner changed the lock. We were told to pay up or leave. My sister and I were so young we couldn't help in anything financially. When our mother cried, we cried. When her knelt down, we knelt down, too. Yes, it shouldn't take a genius to figure out who was in charge of sustaining the family. It was my father. And he sucked at it. 

Our financial situation was getting better ever since I grown up, but things haven't really gotten much better.

I'm able to sustain myself from planing my expenses ahead so to not have to ask for help from others. None of my family members are doing that. They have been occasionally out of money and needed help from others. They are always in debt. I really hate when they do that. I always think, with careful planning, you can avoid loaning. I'm not saying loaning is bad, as long as you are using the money to try and make more money. Not use it to fill up the holes made from mindless spending. It will only create more holes that need to be filled. I've told them my concern, the " holes filling theory", but they seemed to not put much thought into it and continued to do it their way. 

I've not come out a way to solve the problem. Trying to be financially stable, at the same time trying to show them the way to do it is the closest thing I can think of. In the mean time, I'll just have to be annoyed and angry whenever they need help in money again.