To Dry Her Eyes

So I've decided to stop my learning on English, and I think it's time for me to pick up maths.
Maybe tomorrow I'll go to the bookshop near my house and do some shopping for a text book of beginner maths.
Kinda feeling happy that I've learn quite a lot from studying English everyday for the past one and a half month.
I still don't think I can write amazingly in English yet, at least before giving myself more time to contact with the language more, but I think I should be find reading it.

I quite look forward to the maths I'm going to take up, I wonder how difficult can maths be to me? I've always thought maths were just another subject which solutions were all based on logical thinking and familiarity of the formulas, I'm not sure about if it's really true in anyway, but I guess I'll figured it out soon.

Well, if a problem has its logical solution, with me given enough time, it should be a problem that I'm able to solve eventually.

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Love is not.

Poignant scene

Slept at 5am yesterday, woke up roughly ten minutes before 12noon.

Had my lunch at 1230pm with Jerii before going with him to a shopping mall to update his cellphone's operation system.

Reached the mall at around 130pm and we went to search for the shop for doing the updating directly, after less than 10 mins of looking around we came by a crowded shop equipped with a pair of large speakers, which was then playing some decent loud pop music, no that I was complaining.

The queue wasn't very long, we were only 2 customers behind, and we got served after a 15mins wait.

The person who had been serving us was a Filipino lady, who was at the age of around 28-30, tanned, well dressed that looked professional, after some enquiries we were told that a 1 hour waiting time was needed to update the phone, and so we went walking around browsing different shops while waiting the phone being updated.

We promptly headed back to my place after we have collected the phone because I needed to pack dinner from there to work.

Reached work just in time, after settling down I began my work shift for the day.

Quite a long day to me, good thing is that I'll be going home in 37 mins time, since I'm kinda hungry now I might cook myself some beehoon before going to sleep.

Well, that is a stunt pulled by adults, DO NOT MIMIC!

Koi shiyou?

I'm knocking off in 37 mins time, but I'm not going home after that, I'll be playing computer games.
Just had my dinner which was bought by uncle from a coffee shop, the highlight dish was curry chicken, I haven't had that in a while because I think it is too offensive to my stomach.
But with the fact that I like curry, having it once in a while won't hurt the stomach that much I think.
I hope so.

Recently I have back to the video games mood, I found an interesting trailer of the to be release monster hunter portable 3rd on PSP, I find the new expansion really fun.
I really want to play it sometimes, but I don't think that is possible because I had sold my PSP and I don't wanna spend much money on my entertainments.
I would prefer be desired for it then to actually play it with a hungry stomach.
Stomach again, huh?
Only when stomach is filled then we are able to keep on doing the things we want to do.

I spent half of my work shift today reading English news reports and the other half on a National Geographic magazines, both of which are really educational and interesting.

I like learning new things and meeting new friends in a way more than by sitting down to read books and saying hello.

I can't spell LO_E

I don't know what I can write here,
I don wanna keep on sharing usual things happening around me,
I also don't wanna criticize on issues here.

I wanna write about my emotional side, but I don't know where to start,
or where to stop once I have started.

I can be a very emotional person sometimes, especially to things and people around me.
And my emotions are very those very extreme ones, if I have the choice I will not want showing them around.

Keeping them myself is a safer choice I suppose, because I think showing them isn't going to solve my problems in life, so I think might as well keep them hidden.

I'm afraid of crisis, I won't have any plan to deal with it when the time comes.
My family has a weak foundation, we don't have the money nor the place enough to handle big problems, just by hearing how is my family going to pay the house rental is an enough force to pull myself down to the abyss.

My family has been having a lot of troubles ever since I can remember, and the troubles always involve money.
The family has been quite a few stage before when we don't need to worry about money, but things had always gone wrong.
I remember once, there was a time me and my two younger sisters had only instant noodles to eat for lunch and dinner, and after the meals we didn't know will we still get to eat the day after.
Not only that, I recall there's another time, my mother, who was bringing me and my two sister, was once begging to the landlord to let us in our house. The landlord had changed the lock because the rental fee had not been paid for too long.

Ironically, my family is still having the rental feel difficulty even though I am much older than that time.
What does that mean? That means the family still hasn't improved a bit since then.
Having that in mind every morning is enough to depress me, I don't know if my motivations are enough to keep me going any longer.
I'm not begging for help here, I just want changes to my family, positive changes of course.
We don't need to be rich overnight, we don't need to live in a bigger house nor do we want to have high education children.
All we want is to have an identity for everyone of us.
From there then we can start moving, otherwise no matter what we do now is redundant.

I know I should not be saying this by now after been through so many troubles with this family, I can also understand this is being too selfish, and saying this is not going to help the family to grow.

But I have to let it out sometimes, I can't always keep it inside my heart or I will become suffocated.

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I hate this family.

Iris

To have goals in life is very important, the applies to me too.

I woke up each morning hoping that I'm able to remember my goals well often.

I wish I could live always bearing my goals at heart everyday.

I like to go sleep counting how many goals are there.

I haven't had any real goals in my life till now,

I made some recently.

They have been the things that keep me moving.

They also help me remember what I am.


I woke up at 1230pm today, though the initial plan I made yesterday was 930am, in order to have breakfast.

But I didn't make it so I woke up eating lunch instead.

After watching a few video clips I went to study my English.

Half an hour before 3 I went to take a hot water bath, I always prefer taking hot water bath over cold water bath even though I don't take that often.

I stretched my legs and body after a 10mins rest coming out from bathroom.

Ate a banana in fear of hunger before dinner, and I set off for work.

Reached work after been in a wet trip, realising I have already had my eyes on the food I brought to work that I bought from a food stall, I had wanted to eat it.

Although I had managed wait until 6pm before I started eating it, the time I spent waiting for the time was suffering enough.

During work, I figured that My 2years old spectacles could made my eye sight worse, due to the fact that I haven't gone to a spectacle shop to check my eye sight every since I bought it.

I have been feeling soreness on my eyes every now and then, sometimes it would spoil my mood for a day.

Still, I don't want to spend the money to make a new pair of spectacles, I don't think this is a good time for that.

I guess I will try some free methods to ease the pain, it could me cutting down the usage time on computers or having diet is good for eyes.

I am still in the middle of saving as much money as possible even though I have slightly overspent this week, I guess I will let the coming weeks make up for that.

I'm letting my eyes to take some rest by slowly shutting down myself for the day after a short while.

Good night.