Disheartening Onslaught

Another not-so-wonderful day. My mood had been in a mess since yesterday evening. Not that I'm surprised by that kind of feeling since I it quite often, as often as I let my guard down. I understand the impact the feeling gives my much. I know it will affect my regular thinking, affect my appetite and potentially make me look away from my dreams and goals. I have been trying to fight it, but it does not mean I have a good guideline to cope it. But I don't plan to give up fighting yet, since I haven't finished trying all the weapons (methods) that I have thought of trying. I come to understand the feel of when you are alone on the battlefield, the bitterness, the helplessness, the despair, the disappointments and all sort of negative feelings you could perceive. Fighting alone isn't an easy task, yet the result is fruitful enough for you not to stop attempting it.

That's all I have got to say. (At least for today.)

丢了的自己，要记得捡回来。

有时候，莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人说话，只想一个人静静的发呆。

有时候，突然觉得心情烦躁，看什么都觉得不舒服，心里闷得发慌，拼命想寻找一个出口。

有时候，发现身边的人都不了解自己，面对着身边的人，突然觉得说不出话。

有时候，感觉自己与世界格格不入，曾经一直坚持的东西一夜间面目全非。

有时候，突然很想逃离现在的生活，想不顾一切收拾自己简单的行李去流浪。

有时候，别人突然对你说，我觉得你变了，然后自己开始百感交集。

有时候，希望时间为自己停下，做完还没来得及做的事情。

有时候，想一个人躲起来脆弱，不愿别人看到自己的伤口。

有时候，突然很想哭,却难过得哭不出来。

有时候，夜深人静，突然觉得不是睡不着，而是固执地不想睡。

有时候，走过熟悉的街角，看到熟悉的背影，突然就想起一个人的脸。

有时候，明明自己心里有很多话要说，却不知道怎样表达。

有时候，觉得自己拥有着整个世界，一瞬间却又觉得自己其实一无所有。

真的只是有时候，明明自己身边很多朋友，却依然觉得孤单。

有时候，很想放纵自己，希望自己痛痛快快歇斯底里地发一次疯。

有时候，突然找不到自己，把自己丢的无影无踪。

有时候，心里突然冒出一种厌倦的情绪，觉得自己很累很累。

有时候，看不到自己未来的样子，迷茫的不知所措。

有时候，发现自己一夜之间长大了。

有时候，听到一首歌，就会突然想起一个人。

有时候，希望能找个人好好疼爱自己，渴望一种安全感，可当那个可以疼你的人出现的时候，你却偏执退隐。

有时候，别人误解了自己有口无心的一句话，心里郁闷的发慌。

有时候，被别人伤害，嘴上讲没事，其实心里难过的要死。

有时候，常常在回忆里挣扎，有很多过去无法释怀。

有时候，很容易感动别人的关怀，有时候却麻木地像个笨蛋。

有时候，看着时间一点点流逝，任凭叹息自己却无能为力。



其实，有时候，真的会想这么多。。。


跟朋友装沉默，跟陌生人讲心里话。对于在乎你的，不想让他们担心，有时候没有消息就是一种好消息。其实，很想说，“我很好”或许是昧着心说谎，也只是想把最灿烂的一面，放在每个人对自己印象的首页。。。

Respect brings Recognition

I know well that it is near impossible to please every one in this world, since each person is just different. Trying to achieve that is unrealistic, I don't even think about it. The most you should think of doing, is try to please yourself a.k.a. make yourself happy. But that shouldn't mean that you have a right to ignore other happiness. I think the most important aspect of one's happiness is what makes it happened, which is other people's happiness.

Almost every time, when I stepped in a restaurant or places like it waiting to be served, I would feel sorry for those servers when I see other customers are yelling at them or criticizing their services. I know, some time the standards just would not be the expected level, but that didn't mean the customers had the rights to shout at the servers. Of course, having the thought of bring this kind of matter up doesn't mean I have any good solution or suggestion for it.

I just don't get how would the consumers feel when they were shouting at the servers if they were the one being shouted at? And I believe that happened a lot of time.

I really think those who are in this society should start respecting each other, we are all human, we are alive, we all have feeling, shouting at one another without considering the other parties feeling feels just so immature.

Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.

When people get busy, they ask for some free time. And they spend them on sleep, fun, and all those unnecessary stuffs. Human just will never be satisfied. By nature, they are a hard to please animal. They often leave behind what is important to them, and eventually forget it. What I have learned is that, since there are so many paths you can choose to lead your life, choose the one that make you feel most happy. Don't get scared that you might choose the wrong one as since right and wrong are relative, it there is not comparison, there is no right or wrong. I thought you might have figured out that most of the time comparison is what makes you unhappy.

My two cents: do not compare, without it, there is no stress, no competition, no potential hatred, and thus no unhappiness.

魔幻般的红色

I realized that I'm going to write a blog entry everyday I have better write about my daily life else sooner or later I will run out of idea on what to write here.

It's already been two years since I had my eyes checked up; my eyesight has been getting worse ever since.
I think if I need to change my spectacles I think this is the time.
But I don't want to spend money on this type of things yet, so I'll need to wait for a little more while. Function wise, my spectacles still can get the job done, but occasionally my eyes will feel tired after a session of reading, which lasts around 30mins to 1hour. I guess that can't be help, I just have to correct my sitting posture while reading and make sure to have a acceptable lighting condition.

Have been trying to pick up reading habit for myself, which I find it quite enjoyable. I kinda like reading stuffs ever since I was little, from comic books, newspapers, and novels etc. Well, most of them were in English which is different from what I've been reading recently. English is one of the reason I give to myself to read more, as I could use some help from reading an article in this language to enrich myself while in the same time understand the language more.

The progress of doing them has been doing very good, I think.

看书是一种沉淀

身为一个天蝎座，我常常把话藏在心里不说。因为我知道那些话说出来没营养，所以我选择沉默。
尤其是最近，我沉默频率越来越高。
或许是这两个月来生活习惯的改变导致我要对人说话前都会考虑到很多方面。
但是当我遇到对的人我就会毫无保留的掏心掏肺。
而这样的人，现在在我身边还是有的。
他们给我一种“放心”的感觉。
简单的说，就是一种“不会被背叛”的安心感。
他们虽然只占少数，我还是很谢谢他们。
而那些让我再说话之前需要思考很多遍的人，你们也不要太难过，你们不是不好，只是没有化学反应在我们之间残产生而已。