Can I cook?

When my sister's food store was close to my place, I frequently went there for meal. The food there weren't the best, but there was still a fish that I liked a lot. Food wasn't the reason I made the place as my primary food source, it was my sister. Because my sister works there, I could avoid the awkwardness when ordering. It probably was due to my over sensitivity to people interaction, I always got the feeling that the store owner disliked me when he or she wasn't trying to smile or speak nicely. I don't have that kind of feeling as often now, but still I want to avoid if I can. I always tried to check the people in the store before ordering to guess their attitude.

Now my sister had shifted place, I was left with two choices. Either I continue to go to stranger's store for meal or I cook for myself. I chose the latter. It has been quite fun cooking for myself, but it wasn't always the case. When things went well, I got to have a nice meal and be satisfied. When things went wrong, I ate some and throw the rest. I don't really like this. Because I was lazy to find and follow food recipe, I mostly ended with either a weird taste or bland dish. I was simply not familiar enough the basic of cooking.

I want to change that so I'll be able to grasp the basics and cook without recipe. I will try to look the net for recipe from now on.

Bread or Plain Water

Everyday, I usually sort of have a "plan" for what I'm going to do for the day. I open my eyes, prepare breakfast for myself, eat it, practice Japanese, guitar, drawing, Photoshop, exercise, writing, surfing etc. Those are the things I enjoy doing and will feel good when I completed them. I will try to follow my plan when I can, and I usually can.

Today is probably the first day since last November that I'm having a hard time catching up my routine, and I'm not feeling top pleased about it. I woke up at 8am to prepare breakfast and lunch for work. I left home for work at 915am and knocked off at 6pm. After that, I hit the Gym at 7pm for roughly 2 hours and reached home at around 10pm. I spent 30mins to clean myself and I planned to sleep at midnight. It is already 1230am now. I'm halfway done writing, there is still a couple of tasks I skipped today. I don't think I'm going to do them since they are probably going to take me two more hours and I don't like to sleep late.

So, I'm thinking, between the 8 plus hours I spent on work, maybe I can squeeze in a few tasks. I always work alone so if  the task aren't going to interrupt the work I should be fine. I also need to make sure they are done efficiently.


I always think, if my work are related to some of the tasks I'm doing everyday, it will save me a lot of time. I can work and learn at the same time. Get paid practicing your hobby, how wonderful.

Back to work

I'm feeling quite excited for my returning to work next week. I don't need to learn anything since it is my previous work. My superior asked me last week if I was able to replace his current employee for 5 days. He even stated in the message that how much I'll be getting. It is going to be a 50% increment from my previous pay. I gladly accepted the offer since I knew I would be free that week anyway.

The place that I had been working for the last 5 years is a lan gaming shop. My job was actually quite simple, basically I look after the computers, the snacks and the cash register...until the person in charged of the hygiene quit. Keeping the store clean was added to my work. Extra work doesn't mean extra money. Consider I had additional task to do, I was paid poorly. I kept quiet because I knew I wasn't going to work for much longer. It wasn't for another two years before I realized I was wrong. I resigned last November. Few days before my final day at my workplace, my superior confessed to me that they actually underpay me and if I was to come back again they will reconsider my pay. That sounds like an improvement. But that wasn't my poison. 

My job was relaxing but it was simply too boring and repetitive. I worked like a robot. I went to work lifeless, I switched on my program and let it run until time. It wasn't what I wanted if I had a choice. But I have choices now, so the chance is really close to 1% for me to go back and work. The 1% being I only have to work for 5 days. 

Freedom Wars

How much does a pound of freedom cost? I don't know, it probably cost more than what average person can afford. Most people live all of their life and never get to know it. Some people born with it, but doesn't know how to show appreciation towards it. Some, just like me, trying to work hard for it. 

From my observations, I think freedom comes in many forms. Some are easy to come by, some are harder. For example, when you are allowed to pull up from something while everyone else are not, that is freedom ;when you are allowed to say the words you want, that is freedom or when you are allowed to follow the beliefs you want, that is freedom. As for myself, the freedom I want is to be able to control my life. I want to be the person to decide how early I rise, how much I eat, how far I walk, live with the people I like, et cetera. I don't want to let others make those decision for me. I want to be the chess player, not the knight on the board. 

This is probably gonna take a long time, probably never, but I'm trying. As long I know I'm at least trying, as a human being I know I'm a little better than the average people in the world. 

Keep the change

I have always wondered since I was a kid, why couldn't my family be more financially stable. I had starved before. I had been through many a time when the whole family were only allowed to have instant noodles and eggs for meals. We were so helpless, we couldn't afford anything else. Besides food, we had issues for our shelter, too. For a family of five, I remember we had to share a nine square meter room. We were always moving around, because we couldn't come out with the money to pay the rent. There was a time, when we came home and found out that our key couldn't fit the lock. The homeowner changed the lock. We were told to pay up or leave. My sister and I were so young we couldn't help in anything financially. When our mother cried, we cried. When her knelt down, we knelt down, too. Yes, it shouldn't take a genius to figure out who was in charge of sustaining the family. It was my father. And he sucked at it. 

Our financial situation was getting better ever since I grown up, but things haven't really gotten much better.

I'm able to sustain myself from planing my expenses ahead so to not have to ask for help from others. None of my family members are doing that. They have been occasionally out of money and needed help from others. They are always in debt. I really hate when they do that. I always think, with careful planning, you can avoid loaning. I'm not saying loaning is bad, as long as you are using the money to try and make more money. Not use it to fill up the holes made from mindless spending. It will only create more holes that need to be filled. I've told them my concern, the " holes filling theory", but they seemed to not put much thought into it and continued to do it their way. 

I've not come out a way to solve the problem. Trying to be financially stable, at the same time trying to show them the way to do it is the closest thing I can think of. In the mean time, I'll just have to be annoyed and angry whenever they need help in money again. 

Love Family love

My friend is going to leave for other other country. He is planning to be away for at least a year. Along with his partner, he is going to start a new life a couple thousand kilometer away from his old life. He seem to be quite excited about this, of cause he should be. As for the people around him, I'm not too sure. 

Being the only child in the family, he was sure to feel lonesome even more after his mother left for God. But I'm sure he is not the only one. His father wasn't going to to be any less lonely than he was. His father loved his mother a lot. Probably more than my friend was (he probably has as much love for his mother as his father has now). It probably would have taken more time for the two of them to cheer up had they not have each other's support on his mother issue. Yes, it is good to still have a son when your wife is gone. But, there isn't the case anymore. 

I'm not sure if my friend has had consideration on his father feeling. I certainly have. He asked me to kindly look after his house and his father when he is not around, I agreed but I had other opinions on my mind. When something happens, that is only that much an outsider can do. Sometimes the presence of a family member helps tremendously. I just feel kind of disappointed on my friend decision on this abroad decision. 

I don't know who or what made my friend made up his mind, but I know his father loves my friend, his only son, a lot. So is my friend. As for the other person, heaven knows. 

Rainy Days

Yesterday, I went to the funeral of the founding father of Singapore, Mr. Lee Kuan yew, located at Parliament House. That were many people, all waiting to take a glimpse at the hearse coming out from the Parliament House. I arrived an hour early, together with a friend. I was actually invited by him for this event, as he is curious about the 21 gun shots, a ceremony at the funeral. The weather was getting worse, as we were getting close to the starting time. As expected by many of the people onsite (most of them brought umbrellas), it started raining. God the rain was heavy, it even broke through my friend's almighty umbrella. Both me and him were very wet when I noticed a girl standing near us seemed to be alone. She was defenseless against the weather as I failed to see an umbrella in her hand. So I made my friend notice her. As a gentleman, my friend kindly offered her some of our sheltering space. She accepted the offer after saying thanks to both of us. 

The rain was getting heavier when another girl, this time noticed by my friend, appeared alone behind us drenched and without an umbrella, too. So, he sent out the helping hand again... BOOM! Everyone were looking where the direction of the sound came from. It was from the grass field in front of the Parliament House. The ceremony has started. After a few cannon shots, the hearse was passing us. The crowd was excited. Some of the people even shouted Mr.Lee's name out loud. After that, the firing continued for 10 more minutes. People started to leave even before the firing ended when the hearse had gone. As we were leaving the two girls that we rescued said thanks and good bye to us before we went a separate ways. 

It was a definitely a unique way to spend a Sunday afternoon, especially with the girls encounter. The funeral was grand, the attendance were behaving orderly. But I saw quite a few foreign figures in the crowd. I wonder how significant is Mr. Lee to them or if they only just like to join the crowd. Most of us probably don't share the same motives being there, but nobody will know, nobody will care. 

天空开始下雨了

我撑的伞 保护了四个人

而你撑的伞 保护了五百万人

在我脸上的雨水 有多少滴是眼泪的伪装

我和你的距离 可以是天涯海角 可以只是几块木板

如果二十一声响炮 等于你存在的时间 我希望 他们可以多开几下