Rainy Days

Yesterday, I went to the funeral of the founding father of Singapore, Mr. Lee Kuan yew, located at Parliament House. That were many people, all waiting to take a glimpse at the hearse coming out from the Parliament House. I arrived an hour early, together with a friend. I was actually invited by him for this event, as he is curious about the 21 gun shots, a ceremony at the funeral. The weather was getting worse, as we were getting close to the starting time. As expected by many of the people onsite (most of them brought umbrellas), it started raining. God the rain was heavy, it even broke through my friend's almighty umbrella. Both me and him were very wet when I noticed a girl standing near us seemed to be alone. She was defenseless against the weather as I failed to see an umbrella in her hand. So I made my friend notice her. As a gentleman, my friend kindly offered her some of our sheltering space. She accepted the offer after saying thanks to both of us. 

The rain was getting heavier when another girl, this time noticed by my friend, appeared alone behind us drenched and without an umbrella, too. So, he sent out the helping hand again... BOOM! Everyone were looking where the direction of the sound came from. It was from the grass field in front of the Parliament House. The ceremony has started. After a few cannon shots, the hearse was passing us. The crowd was excited. Some of the people even shouted Mr.Lee's name out loud. After that, the firing continued for 10 more minutes. People started to leave even before the firing ended when the hearse had gone. As we were leaving the two girls that we rescued said thanks and good bye to us before we went a separate ways. 

It was a definitely a unique way to spend a Sunday afternoon, especially with the girls encounter. The funeral was grand, the attendance were behaving orderly. But I saw quite a few foreign figures in the crowd. I wonder how significant is Mr. Lee to them or if they only just like to join the crowd. Most of us probably don't share the same motives being there, but nobody will know, nobody will care. 

天空开始下雨了

我撑的伞 保护了四个人

而你撑的伞 保护了五百万人

在我脸上的雨水 有多少滴是眼泪的伪装

我和你的距离 可以是天涯海角 可以只是几块木板

如果二十一声响炮 等于你存在的时间 我希望 他们可以多开几下

Pay up

Because I found my family having difficulty handling household expenses, I volunteered for the job. In turned out I wasn't much better at it than they were. I mainly manage rental fee for our house and the electric bill. I make sure they submit the money needed for them every month on time. It sounds like an easy job, especially I'm not the one submitting. Except when you don't see money by dead line. I hate having to follow up 3 times a month asking the sum. I feel as long as everyone is respecting the agreement and are well prepared before the deadline, we should not complicate something this simple. When thing like this happens, it only makes me sad.


When I'm sad, my meter level for self-control will fall. Imagine a balloon that is over-pumped, there is little room for any further expansion. I don't like being like that as it only clouded my reasons. So, I try to understand why would they do it, what is their reason for the delay? I tried to talk to them, and of course they had their reasons for it. I don't really agree with them but arguing wasn't going to bring us any further with the discussion so I kept quiet and told myself to find another angle of understanding.


After some struggling in mind, I finally able to convinced myself that they were only late on the money. As long as they still able to come out with them, on time or not, I should not be bothered too much by it.

(Continued from previous post)

We bid farewell to each other after the dinner, thinking when would be the next time we meet again.

I got a text message from an unregistered number in afternoon two days ago, asking me if I was free. I didn't have any person in my mind who the owner of the number was, until I checked the profile pic. It was him. He asked me out for lunch after I replied him that I was not occupied that afternoon. We went for Ramen. He was very enough to share his stories of success and even show the willingness to help me for my future. That was when I told him I didn't owe any certificate nor skills but was willing to learn and have been learning. We paused the topic for awhile and went for a walk at the malls. As we were walking, he continued to share his stories and experiences in the adult world. I felt like he was like a teacher to me. I don't know what kind of experience would be having a teacher teaching you new knowledge and caring for you but I think that was close. After malls, he introduced me his office(it was a public holiday, so that was no one in it). I really appreciate him showing me around the office, that made me felt like I was still a useful guy that was still valued by such a experienced guy. We talked in the office for another 20mins while he was sorting his stuffs at his desk, he proceeded to send me home.

Before we arrived at the car park at my place, he gave me some advises. He said I should start looking for some private school and get some certificates that will help in my career. He also seemed to know my financial level and was offering to help me with that.

I'm really grateful.

My fear

Are you scared of something? Is there even a person who is fearless? When a person isn't behaving the normal way, fear has got to be in charge in someway. I realized this because I've seen people like that. I'm also one of them.

I think it is actually fine to be afraid of something, if you know how to deal with it. But a lot of the time people just transform the fear into something else--hatred, jealousy and hopelessness etc. All these negative emotions are only going to make things worse, hence those regrettable news on the TV. I've always avoided to watch these news, because I know too well most of the motives were just stupid stuff that were simply developed from fear.

I guess we should all be afraid once in a while, because it isn't actually healthy if a person has no fear. That just mean the person is insensitive. Sometimes feeling scared of something is important, it makes you more aware of emergency situation. I also think that's one of the reasons people can't live without fearing something.

For me, I don't really want to be the person who has no fear. I'm more interested to be a person who understands fear and its basic structure. I feel it will have more benefits living with moderate fear than simply eliminate it and have it strike you out of sudden.

Food


Enjoyments are very easy to come by these day. They come in all sorts of forms: Cigarette, alcohol, computer games, food, sex and last but not least drugs. Most of them especially food are cheap and easy to acquire; You can get most of them in a shopping mall. I think this is going to be a serious health issue.

Usually, when we open our eyes in the morning, we brush our teeth, get changed and are ready for breakfast. We go to the food stalls, look at all the options and decide to have the one we are most craved for. That decision were done so quickly just because we can. WE DON'T THINK. This is causing many health issues on people having breakfast that are bad for health--high sugar, high in oil, high in salt.--that I think even the stall owner would not notice( Why would they?). People are getting obese because of this convenience. 

I have a few friends who do this. When I told them about the potential health issue they will have eating all this convenient food, their reactions are either ignoring me and keep eating or simply made up reasons so they can shut me up and keep eating. It is not like they are not feeling the disadvantage of their eating habit; some of them are having diarrhea regularly, become fatigue easily and having trouble gaining weight.

Only recently, have I been eating real food. I'm not gonna lie but I'm feeling the benefits already even only after three months since I consciously controlled my diet. I feel more energetic through out the day, more emotionally stable and last but not least having more confident in myself.

Is there anything we can do if we are stuck with the diet that we got used to for so long? I'm sure it is only out attitude that is stopping us. If we be more conscious about our choice of food every time we eat, we will think twice before shoving that piece of donut towards our mouth.

Do I have any tips? Yes, I have one, and I think that is all we really need--don't get hungry. What I mean is, eat when you are hungry and don't eat when you are not. How do you know if you are really hungry and not simply craving for sugar? I have a simple test: when the next time you are hungry, imagine there is an apple in front of you, do you want to eat the apple to fill your stomach? If your answer is no, that means you are just craving for food. (If you answered yes, easy,just eat apple.)


It is only normal for people to eat what they want, after all it is their body and they are the one responsible for it. I only hope they will be more honest and conscious with their choices, not trying to come out with lame excuses the next time they are entering fast food chains. 

"I wasn't aware that you were not educated."

That was the response I got from a friend of mine when I told him that I did not receive any formal education. I guess he was shocked. I met him sometime in 2004, back when we were still playing Magic: the Gathering Trading Card Game. He is 6-7 years older than me, but somehow he wouldn't mind be friend with me. Despite the significant difference in our age, we kinda like each other's way of doing and handling stuff and have been respecting each other. We play Magic together for a couple of years until we decided to move on and stop the hobby. Even since we stop meeting up, and soon he found a job and had to leave for other country because of it.

It was only last year when we meet again, at a gathering organized by another friend of mine who was also part of our Magic playgroup back then. We met for dinner at a Italian restaurant and after that a German bar for alcohol. and it felt like it was only yesterday, our appearance may have changed, but our frequency hadn't a bit. It's been 10 years and we still understand what each other is trying to say. That was a memorable night. It made me feel the wonder of friendship.


(To be continue)

I have a habit of checking out my weight after every 2 weeks or so after a work out. When every time I notice I'm moving closer to my ideal weight, which is 70kg, I feel very motivated and happy that my hard work had been paying off. Yesterday, when I found out that my weight had not been moving much, I felt kinda disappointed. I started thinking if I had been eating a bit too much, it didn't take a genius to figure out I had been. I began to order half spring chicken and oily stuff when eating out. I kept trying to keep myself from taking carbs but at the same time I should also keep an eyes on the amount of oil in a dish. It is actually fortunate for me to figure this out early so I can pay more attention on my diet.