外面的雪好大

这一个多月来，我变得很懒。每一天都不记得做过什么就过了。有时候一个礼拜我都是昏昏沉沉的，做什么都提不起劲。我好像不认得我是谁了，身体好像被风吹过的蒲公英一样，散落在四处。我想过要恢复原状，但身体和脑袋变得好陌生了，它们之间的交流只剩最基本的生存需要。

因此，身体跟不上脑袋了，脑袋想做好多好多事可她却只能停留在想。很可怕，万一，身体觉得脑袋很烦而和她断绝关系。。。不行，我一定要让他们和好，不然倒霉的就是我了。

从今天开始，我要从新开始做记录。我每天都要把我想要做的事写下来。我要清楚地看到我到底在想什么，是真的想做还是只胡思乱想。分清楚之后，把重要的事做记号。剩下的我就去海边把它们交给大海，让大海替我把它们分给别的做梦的人。而我就在也不去想，不让自己记得。现在就开始。

我必须做自己，想做什么，就要想办法去完成。什么都有方法的。离开不认同的人和团体。

有些生物不需要我来操心。

我喜欢摄影，我觉得摄影家是一个伟大的职业。他们的任务是寻找美，发现美，留住美。

很有意义，我想成为一个摄影家去帮助别人。

我喜欢音乐，音乐是无国籍的，和我一样，音乐让流浪的人想家，世界和平的密码就藏在音符里。

Timetwister

When we were young, we had no idea what time really was. We lived our days as if it would never end. The characters in our favorite cartoons never grew old, whether we saw them today or tomorrow, it didn't matter on their age. That was the time when we thought we were like them, too, we were what we were and would always be. Slowly, we realised that wasn't the reality. Cartoons's characters retained their youth, but out friends didn't. Our parents didn't. Reflections are the only way we see our own faces, most of the time during a day we see others's. So, it is important who we choose to be around with, because we seldom tell ourselves how swiftly and helplessly time is passing, the people around do. They remind us how precious time would be and is, it will all be gone sooner than anyone has expected. That sounds scary, but since when truths aren't?

Spend your time wisely, do the things you want to do and don't regret any choices you made, be responsible to them instead.

Psych

"I hate Sunday."

That clause basically sums this post up, I can literally stop here and submit it to Blogger. But I won't, because I don't want myself to look like a person who is too lazy to do some thinking. Does that mean this is a topic that deserve more words if thoughts should be put into it? Yes, absolutely yes. Honestly speaking, Sunday isn't really the worst day in the calendar--Monday is actually the winner. Let me be more elaborated a bit in explaining why Sunday isn't as bad a day as everyone thinks. At first, because I thought that the day that comes after Sunday is Monday, which is a work day, because of that I always liked to conserve my energy on Sunday in order to prepare for it. But that didn't help much, when Monday comes, the struggle it brought couldn't really be avoided. No matter how much rest you took on Sunday, you still feel the same helplessness on Monday. And so, when you realize this fact, you live your Sunday as if Monday never comes. In short, the torture on Sunday is psychological; Monday's torture is physical. 

Still, my energy level is usually low on Sundays. To counter that, in the case for today, I forced myself to go out. Slowly regaining my energy back while I worked thru to my destination. By the time I arrived there, I don't feel the gloominess of Sunday anymore.

Using a finite amount of time to accomplish infinite things.

Ready or not, it's time to go. I will be a Malaysian. I will be leaving Singapore, hopefully not for good, for Malaysia to settle my sister's and mine identity crisis. There are a few things I need to take care of before leaving. First, my father won't not be going with us because I don't think it's a good idea. I need him to stay in Singapore, in case anything needs to be done over here. After we left, he will be all alone. He will also need to be able to support himself. Mentally and financially. Top priority now is to get him a job. Second, I need to locate a place for my sisters and I to base on while we wait for the Malaysia authority to reply. Hopefully some place that allows us to stay for at least a month. Ideally owned by people we know. Third, out stuff in that cannot be brought along to Malaysia have to stay in Singapore, minimally. That means we will be discarding a lot of the furniture, clothes, and so on. But we cannot be throwing things mindlessly. So I will be trying to fund our trip by selling those stuff. Fourth, the house we currently live in has to be returned to the owner. Because we won't be able to pay for the rent in Singapore while also the one in Malaysia. Fifth, also our job. I need to arrange with my superior to allow me to work out of office. That is going to be our main income in Malaysia while we wait so I really have to make sure it is working. My sister's will not be doable, they will have to stay at home most of the time. Sixth, I also have to make sure my mind will work, because everything lie on top of my shoulder, I really should think twice 2 times before deciding on anything. 

Other than those issues, I'm actually quite looking forward to it for it to happen. We have never travelled before, the experience is going to be a fruitful one. We are comfortable living in our flat now, in Singapore, but we really cannot let things continue like this. Seriously. Time is finite, we should not spend them on pleasant things. We need to experience stuff, all kind of stuff

Earliest we can go will be early May, although I really don't think so. I would say it will be somewhere around late June or early July.. 

Cow

Whenever I think of cow, I remember the Chinese zodiac myth. In the mythical story, a race which all the 12 animals took part in, the cow's honesty was exploited by the mouse, which was small in size and could never outrun all of the animals, by resting on its head and jumped to the shore at the very last minute. The story gives many the impression that cows are honest animal. Cows certainly wouldn't agree. They are smart animals, they know how to stay low in order to have fresh grass to eat everyday. Unless a situation calls it, they wouldn't resort to their brute force. Generally I like cows, they are strong, intelligent, and I find their look to be cute. A pair of big eyes, blocky face, and a pair of oval ears are all their facial trademarks. Some species even have horns grow on top of the head and between the ears. Their meat are tasty, because they eat only vegetables and exercise a lot, probably. 

It's not common in the country where I reside for cows to be seen, they usually stationed in zoo. Some lucky ones are able to stay in outside world, by outside world I meant farm, where they are trapped and be forced to produce ingredient for dairy products. 

In Spain, they are also many voices to stop the abusive activities on them.

Mouse

Today’s topic for my note is mouse. I know what a mouse supposed to look like. Their bodies are elongated, tails that are longer than the bodies’s length are attached at the end of the bodies. From as close as 5 meters away, their bodies resemble the shape of correction tape. None of their limbs can be seen at average human height because they are usually tucked underneath those unproportionate body sizes. They appear to have very short necks or none at all. Because most of us hate mice and will exterminate them if we encounter one, evolution theory probably was the culprit who granted them their head to be triangular. This triangular-shaped head are very important to a mouse’s evasion. The head completes a mouse cone shape anatomy, making them more capable to go into tighter places with small openings. Also some of their cuteness were contributed by the head, too, because of it makes the eyes they are carrying appear larger. Despite being a little cute, they usually cause more harm than good to us human. Several disastrous plagues in human history were were all caused by mice because of their mobility that made them everywhere.

The thinker

When it comes to studying, be it with Youtube videos tutorials or actual books, I can say it is using majority of my free time. Based on my 20+ years of observation of everyday things, there is no bottom for any subject being studied. For obvious reason, us human are basically using limited amount of our time to explore this infinite amount of universe, no matter what direction we take, there is no end. But we are very naive, to the extent that even if we knew the result at the end isn't really "the" result, we still keep going. To me, that is the most powerful and wonderful thing to any human being. We just have to keep going forward, keep exploring, getting as close to the goal as we can. Beautiful.

When people stopped learning, people died. They simply stopped functioning as a organism. They become robots. Robots don't learn by themselves; they don't choose what they want to learn. But they still do, with the help of an organism - human, one who is still consciously learning. The bots received what ever knowledge or instructions the human presented to them. They become what the others wanted them to become. Big surprise, most of the people I know are bots, some of them are cyborg(half bot, half human, they can go either way depending on their will), only a handful of them are still human.

Myself? I don't really want to be all arrogant and all, but I like to think I'm a human because I think, and also because I think why I think.